a fascinating book

There are a number of visitors coming here by way of searching the internet for:

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but then when you get here you leave, which makes me so sad because you found a good place to learn more about "Fascinating Womanhood" a book by Helen Andelin that tells you how to be a fascinating woman, a fascinating wife, and feminine. Or if you are single you might be interested in "The Fascinating Girl"also by Helen Andelin but with tips and principles geared to assist the single woman in becoming a happily married woman. There are tips, success stories, related books, and explanations for each aspect of fascinating womanhood here. So take a look around, if you don't find what you're looking for e-mail me at thefascinatingwoman at gmail.com, if I still can't help you out . . . well, I'm sorry and I wish you good luck in your search.

p.s. some of you are also searching for "secrets of fascinating womanhood" this site offers lots of explanations about those "secrets" but you also might be looking for the e-book "Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood" written by Nancy Campbell.

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2 a day for 30 days: follow-up

How did things fare for you on the 2 a day for 30 days challenge? You may recall that the challenge was to First, pick one action to stop doing for the next 30 days. Second make a list of small actions that may be done for your husband and do one action from that list each day for the next 30 days.

How I did & What I learned:

• It is easy for me to become selfish when I am sick. It takes concerted focus to not take the service my husband renders for granted.
• It is more impactful for my husband to feel respected and accepted than for me to shower him with other loving actions.
• The first half of the month I had to bite my tongue a lot more than I thought I would in order to refrain from politely disagreeing with/questioning my husband about why he wants to do something a particular way/thinks something is cool.
• As a result of holding my tongue more I had to use the childlike response more - because there were times when something needed to be said.
• I already do a lot of little things for my husband . . .
• Which is good because I didn't do so well on the little actions list. I'd say about a 40%.
  
• My husband basks in being praised verbally.
• When I give my husband lots of verbal praise he wants to cuddle with me - one of my favorite things.
• I have a great husband and a good marriage.

[image "Check Chk" courtesy Matt Carman]

Gratitudes:

1. I am grateful my husband supports my relationships with my family members.
2. I am grateful for all my sisters (yes ALL of you!!)
3. I am grateful for fresh basil.
4. I am grateful the grocery store is only a five minute walk away.
5. I am grateful for the living room shelves.
   

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preserving tips

Taking a break from pie making I've been preserving (last summer's culinary goal). I made preserves growing up, and frankly, was not a fan. But then I went through a period of mentally collecting pictures of tidy pantries with rows of good things to eat . . . something akin to the Kohler "candy store" ad only healthy(ish). With an open summer and a farmer's market habit I decided to start preserving. Hours of fruit handling later I'd learned that I like preserving, and a few tidbits to decrease the burnt flesh / temptation to swear frequency. I share them with you:

• Hold on to the boxes that packs of jars come in. As jars are emptied of last year's preserves store them in the boxes, ready to use again. [And quite handy if you happen to move.]
  
• Even if you haven't enough boxes to pack your jars in at least store the empty jars by size.
• Thrift stores often have empty jars. To test if a jar is good, first look for any cracks or oddly discolored glass, if so pass it by. Secondly run your finger along the lip of the jar, for a good seal it needs to be smooth. Usually these jars don't have rings but that's okay because . . .
• Jars don't need to be stored with the rings on - in fact to prevent rusting they shouldn't be. So after jars have completely cooled remove the rings. I keep rings together by color and size in gallon size baggies. When a preserve is in use - or given away - I have rings on hand to use. . .
• To replenish the supply of rings you'll need to either by rings by themselves or more boxes of jars still in their shrink wrap packaging.
• Find a pair of rubber gloves that feel good and fit well. They are your defense against burns from boiling water/jam, hot glass, steam.

• Purchase/check out a good book. My favorite is Lip Smackin' Jams & Jellies by Amy & David Butler.
• If using the water bath method, turn off the heat, and add a little cold water to dissipate the danger of boiling water hurtling itself into your eye. Trust me. The water will still be more than hot enough to go right back to a rolling boil when you turn the heat back up after returning the now-filled jars to the pot.
• You need at least four inches of clearance above sterilizing water level to be able to put in filled jars without having to empty water out/have it splash over.
• A cheap large pan can handle the boiling water, but use a quality saucepan for actually making the preserves in.
• Jam is made from whole foods. Jelly is made from juice.
• If you want your jams/jellies really firm you will have to add pectin - I however like it only semi-jelled.
• Cover you counter either with old towels you don't mind staining or heat resistant cutting boards.
• Take all utensils out at the beginning - no, you don't have time to get them out later.
• If you want clear preserves you must add the sugar in a steady stream after the fruit has reached a rolling boil, and at no point can that rolling boil diminish. No way around it. 'Course I don't mind the foamy top.
• Spilled berry & sugar mess is really easy to clean up while hot . . . later on tempts me to swear . .
• Put hot soapy water in the berry saucepan immediately. Add all utensils to it. Be sure the soapy water covers EVERYTHING or wipe it off right then . . . or you will again be tempted to swear.
• Near the stove is always better. If you must expand to other surfaces let it only be for the purpose of cooling off the jars.
• The glass being sticky doesn't mean that you did something wrong. Just means some sugar water got out during the sealing process. If the center of the lid doesn't pop up when pushed on it's still sealed.
• Small batches are much better. Eight cups of fruit is the high end of a small batch. More than that and you won't feel like preserving again.
• To do a "faux" seal use cleaned jars. And soften the lids in some hot water. When the jars cool keep them in the fridge - should last four-six months if unopened.
• It takes time to get all those pretty smocks on the tops of the jars. Someday I may do it as I go . . . for now I set aside a few evenings when needed.

• A specified day/time makes it go smoother.
• Purchase/make an apron with a red background. Or make peace with stains.

Image credits (top to bottom & left to right)
"Gilead Cafe" by LexnGer 
"Lip Smackin' Jams & Jellies" from Amazon 
"Flander's Preserves" by Meanest Indian

Gratitudes:

1. I am grateful for fresh cherries.
2. I am grateful my sister, Nettie, will be visiting soon.
3. I am grateful I have an apron that was made by my Great-Grandmother Bitterlich. It's a Christmas pattern and she cut it out upside down, eh, she was in her 80s and suffering from dementia. I love it.
4. I am grateful herbs are hardy.
5. I am grateful my husband supports my various creative habits.

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the color of clean

Prowling around the archives of Brocante Home I came across a scrumptiously-written review on Zen and the Art of Housekeeping. This book is apparently full of questions such as, "whose footprints are on your floor? If the kitchen is the heart of the home, what is the heart of the kitchen? If the purpose of cleaning is to remove dirt, what is the purpose of dirt? What fills empty spaces? And finally, what is the colour of clean? White, blue, or to my mind a certain shade of watery eau de nil...?"

Alison's philosophy on housekeeping is so perfectly-written I had to just repost it:

At the very least knowing and understanding that your home is an inanimate object and not an evil monster intent on dictating every spare moment of your day with the relentless spillage of filth and chaos, should help you come to terms with how utterly daft it is to project human emotions on to something you are absolutely capable of getting a grip of, should you ever work up the energy to do so.

And lastly a repeat of an earlier question: What colour is clean anyway?

My answer?
To my mind it's a kind of shimmering crispness. The color of air on a cold, clear winter day or in a sweater-needed, scarf-optional autumnal forest. That paradoxical pairing of crisp and cozy. Oddly more a feeling than a color.

What's it to you?

Gratitudes:

1. I am grateful for plants that persevere despite my intermittent watering.
2. I am grateful for savings.
3. I am grateful for fun postage stamps.
4. I am grateful for supportive friends, this one in particular today.
5. I am grateful for a wonderful husband.
   

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wedding dress complex

The alternative title for this post is "we've all a little vanity—which I don't think bad". For instance, I wear moisturizer with SPF and walk more in the shade than in the sun and avoid getting tan because I don't want wrinkles, age spots or tan lines. If that also means I don't have melanoma I'm all for it. . . but I digress . . .

Recently my husband and I discussed the female obsession with fitting back into her wedding dress. This brought up by my own obsession. To make a boring story less so I'll just relay the facts:

Didn't get bridal pictures. Wanted bridal pictures. When opportunity presented again, didn't fit the dress and hair had been chopped. Decided to grow hair back to wedding day length and at the same time lose weight to fit back into dress . A few months left 'til hair will be the right length. Curious if I'll appear older in the photographs (I ought to).

As my husband and I came to no conclusions on the whys of the wedding dress obsession I continued to mull it over. My musings led me to hypothesize that it's a physiological desire for the high of the wedding day . Which high is a confluence of the deference, economy, and romance involved therein.

Deference: The bride (usually) has final say on anything relating to the wedding day. Other individuals move heaven (figuratively) and earth (literally) to make the bride's dreams come true.

 

Economy: For many brides the wedding dress is the most expensive dress ever owned. Coupled with shoes, jewelry and the various head-trappings the ensemble easily outshines anything else in a bride's closet. It seems a waste to expend so much time, energy and money on a single day outfit, and yet few opt to spend less.


Romance: A bride in her bridal attire is fawned over by well-wishers telling her she's beautiful, lucky, charming, blessed, and so on. To these buckets of wishes is added the attention of the groom. Unable to take his eyes off the woman he's just vowed to spend eternity with, all day, despite the exhausting pace of the day he finds dozens of small moments to let his wife know he's thrilled to be her “one and only” and thinks her absolutely stunning/beautiful/gorgeous/amazing/ravishing/hot/sexy/a knockout, etcetera.

Conclusion: I suspect that part of a married woman's attention to the details of a home's décor, or efforts in the coiling of hair locks, or time spent trying on new clothes, or feelings that she doesn't matter are rooted in the letdown of everyday life when compared to the wedding day. And so . . . in an effort to recapture the magic of that day, and justify to ourselves the worth of our gowns, and maybe sometimes the worth of ourselves, we work at fitting back into those smocks of satin, tulle, silk, lace and ribbon.

What do you think?

(p.s. how are things going with the 2 a day for 30 days project?)

image credits: (top to bottom & left to right)

yours truly

bride by bryan pearson

wedding dress detail by the amanda

shelli's shoes by a4gpa 

a tender moment by mark lorch 

intimate view by angela7dreams 

marriage by gen4152.com

Gratitudes:

1. I am grateful for pandora.
2. I am grateful for comfortable pajamas.
3. I am grateful for voicemail.
4. I am grateful for people who call and leave their phone number at the beginning of their voicemail message.
5. I am grateful for soft tissue (especially when, like now, I've a stuffy nasal cavity.)
   

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pie comments follow-up

Since my comment to your comments on my pie is not easy post was quite long I decided to move it to a post:

@ Devon - Thanks!

@ Mary - LOL, of course, that makes much more sense. The eating of the pies has definitely been easy.

@ Farmer's Daughter & Ritsumei - Second pie was also a five hour experience. This time it was rhubarb-meringue pie.

Perhaps I was unclear in my post I don't mean that I was in the kitchen that entire five hours but that the process took over five hours. The desserts I make tend to be 30 minutes long from getting out the ingredients to ingesting the finished product.

I procured a pastry cutter and that made the cutting in of the butter & shortening easier on the second pie crust. The problem is two-fold: all the chilling and all the dishes.

Concerning the first, the pie crust experience goes about like this:

• Chill flour, and cubed butter in the freezer. Place liquid (water, orange juice, vinegar, etc.) in the fridge during the same time. = 10 minutes.
  
• Take the chilled ingredients out and combine into dough. If a double crust divide, place into a clean bowl and toss flour on them. If a single crust, flatten into a disc. Place between sheets of wax paper. = 10 - 15 minutes.
• Chill the divided/flattened dough. = 20 minutes.
• Remove dough from fridge, roll into a circle, place into room temperature/cool pie pan. = 8 - 10 minutes.
• Chill dough in pie pan. = 20 - 30 minutes.
• Fill crust with filling (unless blind baking, in which case fill with pie weights) and put in oven. = 3 - 5 minutes.
• Bake. = 60 - 80 minutes. (With blind baking add an additional 30 minutes because the pie crust has to cool before the filling is added.)
• Cool. = 10 - 30 minutes.
• total = 141 - 200 minutes (230 min. with blind baking) aka 2 1/2 - 3 1/2 hours.

All of the above is not me adding things. It's what the recipes call for. Then there's all the chopping of other ingredients, and because of limited counter space getting ingredients in and out of cupboards to clear the area to roll the dough, and so on. Granted you'd think I could get the filling done whilst the crust is chilling but so far, nope.

Then there's the dishes issues. I make crumbles all the time and assumed that pie fillings were just crumble fillings. Apparently not. There's custards to add and ingredients to be mixed separately, only being combined at the last second, and certain fillings, or portions of the fillings are cooked on the stove before being cooked in the pie crust. On top of all of that my husband does the dishes in our home, (it's a long standing division of labor, don't knock it), however, he does them only a few times a week (in addition to being food processor-less we are also dishwasher-less) and so after making pie I'm out of dishes for several days or I have to wash them myself which I don't like doing.

I don't mean to knock pie-making. Just saying they aren't particularly easy. I enjoy the pies, and I'll eventually figure out the process. I don't like things with interrupted processes. I don't like strategy board games for the same reason. I dislike doing something, waiting a while, doing something and so on.

Anyway, if any of you who do think pie making is easy can see any flaws in my above-delineated process by all means enlighten me!

Meanwhile I may have to integrate magazine-reading with pie making.

p.s. the recipe used for the strawberry-rhubarb pie was pretty-nearly this one (I also added some white sugar to the filling).For the rhubarb meringue pie I used the Nigella Lawson recipe in How to Eat, which is delineated on a blog here.

Gratitudes:

1. I am grateful for all of you supportive readers.
2. I am grateful for the flower arranging tips in this video. Used them this weekend to make bouquets inspired by one in a past Domino issue. The arrangements include: pale green hydrangeas, peonies, eucalyptus, seed pods, aspen leaves, baby's breath, and lamb's ears. They are gorgeous and if only I had a digital camera I would take a picture.
   
3. I am grateful for the mood-enhancing and food-preserving properties of sugar.
4. I am grateful it's berry season.
5. I am grateful to know that this crick in my neck will go away . . . soon, I hope.
   

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